Life Through Our Lens

Snakes are arguably the most beautiful species on earth, although when I see them, I’m instantly terrified, no matter how gorgeous their skin is; but what did snakes ever do to deserve such a negative disposition in our society? Living life with the weight of the world dictating who you are based on presumptions, stereotypes, and misconceptions is tiering. For instance how, some black people don’t attempt to take care of their natural hair because oftentimes, society casts negative perceptions on textured hair. Let’s flip it: how white people dancing to hip-hop music are looked at as cultural appropriation or “trying to be black,” but they’re literally just dancing to music in a way that’s popularized in this generation. Why is it so hard for people to see people as people and not who they think they are based on their own assumptions? Population diversity is how species evolve and continue to thrive in an environment. Still, society can often place people in boxes based on where they’re from, what they look like, or who they are.  These “forces” are so strong that I believe we take on different traits and personalities due to what others assume we should be like.  Think about what the world would look like if we focused more on people individually instead of attaching them to groups and stigma.

I always wondered what my life would be like if I were different. How much more ease I could have navigated through society if I was a bit fairer skinned. If I had been born into a wealthier family, I wouldn’t have had to worry about how who I am would affect my social status as an adult or how the way I express myself would affect my career opportunities and progression in corporate America.  If I played the role life assigned me without constantly trying to tweak the script and add my personal spin on the character, maybe then I wouldn’t have to consistently try to get my point across or feel the need to speak up for myself out of fear that no one else would. I wouldn’t’ constantly worry about being misunderstood and jumping at the opportunity to vocalize who I am and what I stand for before people could have a chance to decide who I am in their heads. No one’s eyes bat when we see someone behave how we expect them to. However, when a woman of color is the CEO of a company, speculation about how she acquired her position becomes a question. A black child from a two-parent home who is financially stable encourages education, and speaks proper English is considered white-washed. Still, these traits are expected from white children before they even speak. A gay male who can’t dress isn’t funny and doesn’t listen to Beyonce, Rhianna, or Nicki Minaj is an abomination in the gay community, and how a community that faces so much opposition from society can still somehow manage to create a box for their own people leaves me in awe.

And Is the world really changing? Are we living in the beginning stages of change, where we won’t be able to experience it ourselves, but future generations will revel in it? Imagine a world where you can embrace yourself and feel proud, supported, and encouraged by anyone when breaking away from the status quo. You can stand before a crowd without thinking about how they might pick you apart and judge you before even knowing you. How many times have you assumed someone was rich just because of the car they drive or the house they live in? Or even assuming a couple had a healthy, happy relationship because you caught them smiling and cuddled up at a table in a nice restaurant. So often, those assumptions are entirely wrong, as so many others are. You can be anything you want to be; you can be single and happy; you can work a 9-5 and be financially stable; you can be a woman who doesn’t want to bear children and still have a happy and healthy marriage. You can create a world for yourself that isn’t tainted by old-school views and outdated notions that stem from racism, misogyny, and a lack of understanding. Reclaiming that same power used to stereotype people, use it to free yourself from limitations. Redirect that fear of being looked at differently and use it to encourage yourself to journey the path not frequently traveled. The weight of insecurities, use that same weight to stand firm on your goals, dreams, and ambitions, and know that no matter how others may see you, the most important thing is how you see yourself.